Redneck 12 Days of Christmas
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Lyrics
Woo, somebody done been to the Walmart
Man, that's just the stuff I got for Christmas
Well, you cleaned up, what'd you get?
Five flannel shirts
Four Big Mud tires, three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT
You boo, you got gifts, there's twelve days of Christmas
I know that, I got it covered, look over in the corner
That's yours too?
Yeah, twelve pack of Bud, eleven wrestling tickets
Ten of Copenhagen, nine years probation
Eight table dancers, seven packs of Red Man
Six cans of Spam, five flannel shirts
Four Big Mud tires, three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT
Man, these ain't normal Christmas presents
No, they're redneck gifts
Redneck gifts?
Yeah, you know, like if you buy your wife
Earrings that double as fishing lures
Or if you can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells"
Perhaps if you think the Nutcracker is
Something you did off the high dive
Or if you've ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights
Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus
What's wrong with that?
I didn't say anything wrong with it, it's hard to beat
Twelve pack of Bud, eleven wrestling tickets
Ten of Copenhagen, nine years probation
Eight table dancers, seven packs of Red Man
Six cans of Spam, five flannel shirts
Four Big Mud tires, three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT
Well, you know you can't really consider it a Christmas
'Less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama
You're not listening to me, get the car key out of your ear
That's where the nine years probation comes in
I'm gonna do it for you again, now listen
Twelve pack of Bud, eleven wrestling tickets
Ten of Copenhagen, nine years probation
Eight table dancers, seven packs of Red Man
Six cans of Spam, five flannel shirts
Four Big Mud tires, three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT
Are you crying?
No, it's just my allergies
Happy holidays, everybody