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Silent Letters
Demetri Martin
Popularity ยท Low
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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I think silent letters are funny
When I see a silent letter and a word
I try to figure out how that happened
Some letters hanging out, and then all of a sudden
They're like, "Oh, we gotta go spell this word"
There's one letter there, it's like
"Psst, hey, I'm gonna come with you guys"
And the other letter's like, "What?"
No, that's ridiculous, you're a G
I won't say anything
Just hang out in the middle, it's fine, don't worry about it
It'll be funny, we'll mess with foreigners
Like the word foreigners, that's me in the middle
A treehouse is really insensitive
That's like killing something
And then making one of its friends hold it
I'm not cool
I bought an area rug because it was impossible
To buy any other kind of rug
Can I help you? Yeah, I want a rug
With no length or width, please
I just got some cargo pants
Because I had all this tiny cargo
That I wanted to transport on my thighs
Am I gonna move this cargo without using my hands?
Cargo pants, perfect, yes, but it's kind of hot out
Cargo shorts, you're shitting me, amazing
Wish I could get a cargo speedo, just a pocket in the front
There are two kinds of jackets
Reversible and reversible, but it's hard to zip her up
And it looks really stupid
You can tell you're not doing well in life
If you find yourself taking a crap
And wearing a jacket at the same time
Clothing sizes are weird because they go small, medium, large
And then extra large, extra, extra large
Extra, extra, extra large
Something happened at large
Someone just gave up, they ran out of adjectives
They said, all right, you, you're taxing me here, man
I'm just, just keep throwing extras on there, I can't deal with this
That's a shame, it seems like we could do better than that
Small, medium, large, whoa
Easy, slow down, stop it, interesting, American
Midwestern American
Excuse me, do you have this in a Michigan?
No, that style only goes up to an Ohio, we don't have that
I don't like when I go into a clothing store
And I pick out something that I want to try on
And then I go to the dressing room
And like the minute I get in there
They come and they bother me
They check up on me, you know, knocking on the door
"How you doing in there? You doing okay in there?" What?
And they're like, "How you doing in there?"
I go, "Uh, not too good, I think I'm going to kill myself
Could you get me a belt, please?"
Leave me alone, man
"You okay in there?"
"Uh, yeah, I'm naked, just popping some zits
You want to hop in?"
"Sir, how you doing in there?"
"Uh, I can't find the toilet, so I just went what happened?
You got to finish these bathrooms"
Also, I'm gonna need a couple t-shirts pretty fast
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