Day I Tried to Teach Charlene Machenzie How to Drive
Ray Stevens
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Well now Charlene MacKenzie was a certified beauty,
And I thought it was my patriotic duty
To teach her things like neckin' yeah
And drivin' an automobile.
Now Charlene MacKenzie while prettier than most,
Turned out to be as deaf as a post
A condition I was not aware of until
She got behind my steerin' wheel.
I had a '57 Chevy it was born to run
It was a red hot fuel injected son of a gun
And when her shoe went down on that accelerator
She just froze when it let out a roar.
I said, don't rev it so much,
Take your foot off the gas
She thought I said
Pop the clutch make it go fast
And she did
And friends we laid rubber for a block or more.
And there were chickens on the bumper
Yeah feathers in the grill
Rose bushes in the wheel wells
And a pig on my windshield
Yeah and the bees were a buzzin' where she mowed down their bee hive
On the day i tried to teach Charlene
MacKenzie how to drive (How to drive)
I said hold on a second I wanna talk to you
She thought I said go for second and see what she'll do
And we laid more rubber
She jumped it to a hundred and four
Now Clarksdale Georgia, is just a little old town
And shoot
I thought I knew my way around
But she took me places that day
I never seen before
Through barns and gullies over hills
We uncovered lovers and moonshine stills
Broke into a clearing of the annual picnic
Of the Georgia Highway Patrol
Yeah we broke up that picnic
And everything in it
Those officers were on us in a New York minute
And I knew somehow I just had to regain control
Because now there were lovers on the bumper
Picnic baskets in the grill
Wrapped around the fenders
Was what was left of a moonshine still
There was a wounded patrolmen on my
windshield yellin' You'll get three to five
On the day I tried to teach Charlene
MacKenzie how to drive (How to drive)
Well I finally got her just to push in the clutch
And we coasted to a stop
But she still had her foot on the gas
When up walked that wounded highway cop
He blew some feathers out of his mouth
And before i could stop him I heard him ask
Ptooey why don't you quit revin it up so much
And take your foot off the gas
Oh no here we go again
And there were chickens on the bumper
Feathers in the grill
Rosebushes in the wheel wells
And a pig on my windshield
And the bees were a buzzin'
Where she mowed down their bee hive
On the day I tried to teach Charlene
Mckenzie how to drive (How to drive)
On the day I tried to teach Charlene
Ah Charlene
Charlene look out
How to drive
Charlene came to see me in the hospital a few days
later And apologized for all the damage she'd done
And assured me that everything was gonna be alright now
Because her parents had just bought her a brand new hearing aid
And it was the finest hearing aid that money could buy
And I said well really Charlene what kind is it
She just looked at her watch
And said oh it's about 9:30