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Quartet (A Model Of Decorum And Tranquillity)
Elaine Paige
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We wish, no must, make our disgust
At this abuse perfectly clear.
We're here for chess -- are the U.S.?
If so, why foul the atmosphere?
I must protest -
Our delegation has a host of valid points to raise,
Our player's sporting attitude's beyond all praise,
As any neutral would attest
But we concede the fact his masters bend the rules is not a player's fault
We'll overlook their crude political assault
And under protest will proceed
If your man's so sweet
Then why his fighting talk?
If he's not a cheat
Then why on earth
Did he go take a walk?
Why let him loose?
He'll soon reduce
This great event
To a brawl
It's very sad
To see the ancient and distinguished game that used to be
A model of decorum and tranquillity
Become like any other sport
A battleground for rival ideologies
To slug it out with glee
Through the elegant yelling
Of this compelling dispute
Comes the ghastly suspicion
My opposition's a fruit
I don't suppose
You'd understand the strain and pressure
Getting where he's got
For then you'd simply call him
Highly strung and not
Imply that he was one of those
It seems to us
There's little point in waiting here all night for his return
And since a peaceful match is our sole concern
We won't make an official fuss
In short we rise
Above your guy's
Tantrums, dramas,
Dirty tricks
I can only say
I hope your dream comes true
Till that far-off day
I hope you cope
With helping number two.
It's very sad
To see the ancient and distinguished game that used to be
A model of decorum and tranquillity
Become like any other sport
A battleground for rival ideologies
To slug it out with glee
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