Brother Gorilla
The Jake Thackray
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Lyrics
Through the bars of a large enclosure
The village ladies intently stared
Where a gorilla with massive composure
Was impassively combing his hair
They were shamelessly interested
Eyeing devoutly a certain spot
But me mother's a special requester
I refrain from telling you what
Brother gorilla!
The door of the circus lock-up
Where the noble brute had been put
By an administrational cock-up
Was unwisely left un-shut
'I'm going to lose it at last!' he cried
Swinging lissomly out of his cage
Referring of course to his chastity
He was just at that difficult age
Brother gorilla!
Those self-same ladies who previously
Had been licking their lips from afar
Did a bunk which shows how devious
And whimsical women are
In the path of the love-sick monkey
There were two who wouldn't budge
A little old lady all shrunken
And a petty sessions judge
Brother gorilla!
The old girl said
'It would be surprising
And unlikely in the extreme
If anyone found me appetising
And beyond their wildest dreams'
The judge intoned with tranquillity
'To take me for a female ape
Would be the height of improbability'
Even judges make mistakes
Brother gorilla!
It would be curious and uncanny
Say if the choice were up to you
To ravish a judge or a granny
And you didn't know which to do
If I were in such a permission
And the choice had got to be mine
I'd beg the old lady's permission
But go for grandma every time
Brother gorilla!
Though the gorilla is very proficient
In the role of a paramour
His mental equipment's deficient
And his eyesight's awfully poor
With a Palaeolithic leer
He gave the old lady the miss
And grabbing the judge by the ear
Gave him an introductory kiss
Brother gorilla!
In time the gorilla's desires
Were more or less gratified
The judge being rather biased
Couldn't see the funny side
He was kicking and screaming and wailing
When his moment of truth had come
Like those wretches he orders daily
To be taken away and hung
Brother gorilla!