Chopping Up The Teacher
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There are some things that I have done in life
That made me ashamed and I keep from the wife
Like the stains of buttered crumpets
That spilt on the page, where they will remain
Someday I'll confess to all those crimes
But right now I'd like to say that
I am guilty of the crime of chopping up the teacher
Chopping up the teacher, it was I
Yes, I am guilty of the crime of chopping up the teacher
It was I
It was those cricket scores that made McClaure's sink in
Oh, that bloody gin
He told us to love Thatcher though a pterodactyl hatched her
So I chopped off his head and went to bed
Like I said, it's me who's guilty of the crime
Of chopping up the teacher
Chopping up the teacher, it was I
Yes, I am guilty of the crime of chopping up the teacher
It was I
He said, "Trouble, it will come from the headmaster
And he'll make a right disaster of your bum"
And my parents, they were called
And my dad, he was appalled
When the police reported I'd not done the lot
Younger parents do distrust
Our public schools, well, they're fucking fools
'Cause would the world be better
Without paranoid cross-dressers?
I don't think so
I'd miss 'em, and so would I
He is guilty of the crime of chopping up the teacher
Chopping up the teacher, it was him
Yes, he is guilty of the crime of chopping up the teacher
It was him
Everybody
He is guilty of the crime of chopping up the teacher
Chopping up the teacher, it was him
Yes, he is guilty of the crime of chopping up the teacher
It was him