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Homesick
Ben Lapidus
Popularity ยท Low
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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I feel the weight of generations placing all their bets on me
My grandpa's getting to the age concerned with God and legacy
My mother sends her best, her empty nest, it pines for proginy
The world my children will grow up in will be alien to me
I miss when politics was boring, I miss movies on TV
I miss the way it never really was, the end of history
Now I'm a part of the nostalgia, content cottage industry
I'm makin' pennies, makin' music but I'd do this shit for free
I'm homesick
I'm tryin' to live more in thะต moment
Tryin' to get to wherะต I'm goin'
Tryin' to let go what I'm holdin'
In my teens when I smoked weed and wrote those poems that made no sense
Renounced my friendships in the name of my artistic excellence
In my unforced isolation, half-inspired, half-insane
With messianic aspirations and an infantile pain
When I dreamed of packed arenas, panaceas, perfect love
Practiced my signature in steam on shower glass when I was young
When my esteem was nonexistent, when I screamed and smashed the drums
When bein' famous felt more feasible than bein' who I was
I'm homesick
I'm tryin' to live more in thะต moment
Tryin' to get to wherะต I'm goin'
Tryin' to let go what I'm holdin'
I'm homesick
I'm homesick
I'm homesick
I'm homesick
It took a break-up and a breakdown and a dark night of the soul
It took me getting what I wanted and it not making me whole
It took a seven-page handwritten letter sent and then returned to sender
Unilateral surrender, giving up control
It took getting help and crying often
In an office where I pay to do the work of feeling what I felt
It took thirty trips around the sun to realize I could not outrun myself
It took thirty years to feel what I could not afford to lose
When I still slept with my stuffed animals and wore my light-up shoes
Thirty years to recollect a loss too big to name
Thirty years believin' I was to blame
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I'm gonna put that little soldier on my shoulders and throw him a parade
I'm gonna shower him in love, I'm gonna validate his pain
I'm gonna be the one he needed them to be
And say, "It's not your fault, I'm sorry, I forgive you, forgive me"
Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh
(I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry) oh-oh
(I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry) oh, oh-oh
(I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry) oh-oh
(I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry) oh
But I'm homesick (I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry)
I'm tryin' to live more in the moment (I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry)
Tryin' to get to where I'm goin' (I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry)
Tryin' to let go what I'm holdin' (I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry)
I'm homesick (I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry)
I'm homesick (I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry)
I'm homesick (I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry)
I'm homesick (I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry) oh-oh
(I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry) oh-oh
(I see you, I love you, I'm so sorry) oh
ย