Skip to content
Lyric
Dive
Public playlists
My playlists
Search
Sign in
Boob Tube
Larry the Cable Guy
Popularity ยท Low
+
๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
0
0
YouTube
Searching YouTube...
Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
My brother wants to go on that show America's Got Talent
Like what the hell you gonna do on there? You ain't got no talent
He goes, "I can rip a phone book in half with my bare hands"
You live in a town of 47, you moron
ย
That ain't a phone book, that's a pamphlet right there
But I tell you what, them reality shows make me
Madder than a piano player in a marching band
I'll tell you what that
The only one of them I like's Cops, you like Cops?
I like Cops, that's real on that show
I like the first two seasons too 'cause my family
Was featured on a lot of them episodes in there
I enjoy the Cop
Everybody got a reality show, makes me madder
Than a mosquito in a mannequin factory
I tell you what
Country Music Television has one
My buddy John Rich, you seen his show Gone Country?
Pop singers go country
Did you see Bobby Brown on there?
He went country for ten minutes
He learned how to smoke crack out of
A corn cob pipe on that show in there
So I thought that was pretty good
I tell you what though, TV ain't like it was when I was growing up
I mean I used to love all the old shows, you know
My favorite show growing up was Knight Rider
I liked that old Knight Rider show
But they did a remake of Knight Rider
Have you seen the new remake of that talking car Knight Rider?
That show sucked so bad my TV told me to turn it off for God's sake
Watch a lot of sports on the TV
I was getting into arena football for a while
When there was no football I would watch arena football
It's just kinda weird watching arena football
You know, football on a 50 yard field
Kinda like having the Daytona 500 in
A cul-de-sac, you know what I mean?
And the Super Bowl irritated me last year
That was, I'm gonna tell you something
These commercials they run on the Super Bowl
What the hell, make me madder than a fat guy
With little arms trying to wipe his ass crack
I tell you what these commerc-
I was watching the Super, that was a good Super Bowl
Was it not? Down to the last 12 seconds of the game
Good Super Bowl
Them morons showed a Victoria's Secret
Commercial with four minutes left in the game
I missed the rest of the Super Bowl
Then my wife caught me with illegal use
Of the hands later on that night in the
Commercials
You ever see that commercial for Tag body spray?
I can't believe people buy stuff they see on
You ever see that one for Tag body spray?
Evidently single fellers, they spray it on 'em and women love it
It's like human deer urine or something, you know what I mean?
They, they love it
They smell that fella, oh boy
They ripping their underbritches off like they got
Fruit flies flying around in a cotton patch down there
You know what I mean?
Let me tell you something about Tag body spray
The only way you're gonna get lucky with Tag body spray
Is if you spray it in her eyes and drag her in an alley
Alright, that's it
That's true, that's right
Now I know that works
Lord, I apologize for that right there
Be with the servant pygmies in New Guinea, amen
Yeah, you gotta make that right, gotta make that right
Then you got some of these other
Commercials make literally no sense at all
They think we all idiots
What kind of an incentive is this?
You see that online poker commercial?
Spend 50 dollars online, you can gamble with
The top five poker players in the world
I wanna gamble with the five worst poker
Players in the world for God's sake
That's 50 dollars
And some companies advertise don't even need to advertise
Everybody likes what they do
I don't know why they spend the money
Like Oreo cookies
Who in the hell ever eat Oreo cookie?
They got commercials for Oreo cookies
Everybody likes Oreo cookie
You could go to the deepest jungles of New Guinea
Have all them jungle pygmies running around there
Hold up Oreo cookie, they'd be like
They'll stab it with a spear and eat it with a side of monkey brains
Them pygmies down there
'Cause everybody likes Oreo cookie
But they got a commercial out right now says
"Oreo cookies taste great with milk, no kidding"
Here all this time I've been rolling 'em up in a
Tortilla with lima beans and cheese for God's sake
I wish somebody told about that milk
I bet that sounds delicious right there, that milk
ย