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eyes closed

Runamok
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Lyrics

I'm still falling for her Threw my wings in the dark Didn't want to be lonely I would rather be hurt It's like twenty past four I'm slowly fading into dreams Close my eyes at the court Nobody knows how it feels Destroyed Falling for her (close my eyes) Closing the hurt Didn't want to be lonely (close my eyes) I would rather be hurt It's like twenty past four I'm slowly fading into dreams Close my eyes at the court Nobody knows how it feels She wonders why I could never assimilate in her family but I've always been alienated Never understood what a family dynamic should be How a sibling shouldn't be, how a parent should really be I'm not saying it negatively but ever since I was 13 I felt like the black sheep, if you're close you'll hurt me She never understood 'cause she wasn't there All the nights that I cried myself to sleep in my bed Alone in my head or All the times that I fell and picked myself up again All the cards I was dealt and single handedly did Overcome it and for the longest time I couldn't stomach 'Cause I was the youngest, we were all going through it but No one was there to catch me from falling Only my brothers that's not related by blood so I don't know how to act loving To the family truely, I feel so guilty for choosing a woman over my family Only now that I'm losing her I realise it ain't normal to feel a barrier corner you When they simply want you to open up to exploring the Possibilities of getting closer with your peeps I understand now my parents only human too And we were trying to just keep our heads from falling deep And maybe resenting them for that, that isn't fair to do When I told you I blamed you for fucking everything I realise I was selfish and it ain't only you It's twenty past four I'm slowly fading into dreams I really cry when I think of all of the times that I squandered another chance to know you better, I lie and I didn't get what she said when she wanted me to really try Bring the boundaries down and treat her family like it's mine But no one knows how guilty that I feel for that, my inability to let anyone see who I am She told me if only I was more open, everyone would love But what makes you think I feel deserving of that huh? (I'm still) What makes you think I want everybody loving me? Cause I'll keep on falling and don't want nobody underneath I'd bring with you me, I'll probably fall to deep and go out like Whitney When I'm leaving the planet, I don't want you to ever miss me I'm diving head first in an ocean of your tears I'm an anchor and I fell, it couldn't be more clear I'm fallen I'm still falling for her Threw my wings in the dark Didn't want to be lonely I would rather be hurt It's like twenty past four I'm slowly fading into dreams Close my eyes at the court Nobody knows how it feels Falling for her (close my eyes) Closing the hurt