Come Down To My Funeral
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Lyrics
Well, I'd like to take the chance to each and all of you invite
'Cause you and you'll still be around
I'm hoping that you might
'Cause when I kick the bucket
When I leave this mortal coil
I'm gonna throw a party
Least for me to end them all
No, I won't send paper invitations
So let me make this clear
Just pass the word to all who thought that I was worth a tear
Then dry your eyes, it's fine
Just don't bury me in Faulkner
And get yourself liquorious
Just like I said you oughta
So won't you come down to my funeral
And we'll all have a ball
Come leave me as I lived if you can stand to leave at all
We'll be drinking scotch and stout
And Mister Lee will drink red wine
So come down to my funeral and we'll all have a time
Won't you come down to my funeral and we'll all have a time
To all the girls who plucked their courage up
And asked for me to dance
Well I've never been a dancer, sorry girls
But now's your chance
Just to pluck my body from its box and you can stand me on my feet
Dance me 'round the room just like a puppet made of meat
We could dance the Charleston
We could dance the Tango too
We could trip the light fantastic
Don't [?] the evening through
And if I fall down on the ground
It's not because I'm cuck
It's just because I'm sleeping, so you'll never wake me up
So won't you come down to my funeral
There'll be dancing all night long
And if the band isn't cranking then they better change their song
Stop your moaning, and won't you give the clothes to walk a rest
Didn't I ramble, sure I did
I rambled with the best
So won't you come down to my funeral and we'll all have a time
And now I find a nice boy, a sweet boy, not inclined to sodomy
And if I loved thy neighbour so long we'll [?] much like me
And I will send a little angel's wings to sweet eternal bliss
To paradise
To paradise and this
Where rivers flow of milk and honey
And the streets are paved with gold
There'll be forty nubile virgins there
Least, that's what I've been told
But could you imagine, every night
Explaining what to do
With the awkward fumbling
'Sorry, does it hurt?'
I couldn't see it through
So won't you come down to my funeral
There'll be paradise on Earth
And there'll be food and wine and dancing
Angels, love and joy and birth
And if you're lucky and you take a special someone with you back home to bed
I promise they'll be good
As sure as I'll be dead
So won't you come down to my funeral and we'll all have a time
And so I'll climb rock candy mountain up to heaven's gate
Saint Pete'll take one look at me and solely head'll shake
He will knock me back and set me spinning
Straight down to perdition
And stamp it on my passport
That I'm a waste of a musician
So I'm tumbling past the seven circles
Past the devil's swords
I think the [?] smells like Iceland
And I'm still pining for the fjords
I'm scared when I cry, "Jesus, what did I ever do to you?"
But I look up, you're all there
'Cause you got sent there too
So won't you come down to my funeral
'Cause I'll see you all in hell
I've got my friends and all my lovers
They'll be there as well
The party's good and the drugs are hard and the devil plays trombone
The carpet's dirty and the drinks are cheap
And we'll all feel all at home
So won't you come down to my funeral
We'll all have a ball
Come leave me as I lived if you can stand to leave at all
We'll be drinking scotch and stout
And Mister Lee will drink red wine
So come down to my funeral
We'll all have a time
So won't you come down to my funeral and we'll all have a time