Tissue in the Wash
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Hello ladies and gentlemen, it's Billy McCartney here
We've had lots and lots of laughs today
But there's a time when the laughter has to stop
And that's normally when Dickie starts singing
But let me tell you about another time
In all our lives there's sadness
I think you get the gist
Let me tell you 'bout the saddest thing
That tops everybody's list
It can happen to the young or old
If you're poor or if you're posh
The heartbreak and the heartache
Of a tissue in the wash
A tissue in the wash
There's no way you can stop it
A tissue in the wash
You forgot to check the pockets
The cycle lasted just an hour
But the pain it lingers
I'll spend the next three days with sellotape,
Wrapped around me fingers
I'm just a broken man now
Its so hard to stay tough
Washed at 40 degrees then fell to my knees
When me clothes came out covered in fluff
I'm gonna need some comfort
I'm fighting back the tears
Me eyes are gonna squint I'll be removing lint
Off me clothes for years
A tissue in the wash
There's no way you can stop it
A tissue in the wash
You forgot to check the pockets
Until you know the heartache
You won't know what it means
I cried when I saw paper bits
Covering me jeans
Help me Mr Kleenex
Wont you hear my pleas
I've got a mansized problem
Oh, you've got me on my knees
Why does the Lord allow it
I guess that only he knows
Why there's pain and suffering in this world
And flecks all over me chinos
A tissue in the wash
There's no way you can stop it
A tissue in the wash
You forgot to check the pockets
This pain so strong I can't go on
I just can't take the hurt
The misery of those paper bits
Over my black shirt
A tissue in the wash
It's just a tissue in the wash
There's nothing you can do about it
Kleenex! Kleenex! Kleenex!
I'll see you later
Put it on the radiator
Take it to the dry cleaners, c'mon
Take it to the dry cleaners
You've hung me out to dry yeah, yeah, yeah
You couldn't believe but it comes out smaller
It'd fit Johnny Green, Green, Green, Green, Green, Green, Green
Won't you take me for a spin now baby?