Shoulda Shut Up
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Ooh, I wouldn't have said that then
You know I love you but you done it again
You should've shut up while you had the chance
Should've shut up, should've shut up
A little silence ain't a crime you know
Why don't you just shh, just leave it alone
But no, not you, you should've shut up
Hey guys, you ever been talking to your wife or girlfriend
And you find yourself in the doghouse and you don't know why?
I'll tell you why, it's 'cause we don't know when to shut up
It's like I knew this girl in high school and she was a big old girl
Well I saw her the other day and she must've
Gone on a diet 'cause she looked great
But instead of just saying that and shutting up
I go, "Wow, you must've lost a ton of weight"
I should've shut up
Ooh, I wouldn't have said that then
You know I love you but you done it again
You should've shut up while you had the chance
Should've shut up, should've shut up
A little silence ain't a crime you know
Why don't you just shh, just leave it alone
But no, not you, you should've shut up
It's like the other day I was at the mall
And there was this woman holding the
Ugliest baby I'd ever seen in my life
I mean it was a Halloween mask with legs
You could not drink this baby cute
But when the woman looked at me I panicked and I said
"Wow, that's a cute little boy"
And she said, "She is a little girl"
And instead of just shutting up
I said, "Well think of the money you're gonna save on prom dresses"
Oh, I should've shut up
Ooh, I wouldn't have said that then
You know I love you but you done it again
You should've shut up while you had the chance
Should've shut up, should've shut up
A little silence ain't a crime you know
Why don't you just shh, just leave it alone
But no, not you, you should've shut up
You should've shut up
You know I went to a friend of mine's bachelor party
A week later my wife said, "Hey
I heard there was a naked woman there"
And instead of just shutting up
I said, "Yeah, but, but I didn't sleep with her"
Ooh, I wouldn't have said that then
You know I love you but you done it again
You should've shut up while you had the chance
Should've shut up, should've shut up
A little silence ain't a crime you know
Why don't you just shh, just leave it alone
But no, not you, you should've shut up
You should've shut up
But no, not you, you should've shut up
And finally if that wasn't enough
I was on a plane the other day showing this woman pictures of my kids
And bragging on how much I loved them
Well I must've made her mad 'cause she got really snotty and said
"Well, my pets are my kids"
And instead of just shutting up
I said, "Yeah, but my kids don't lick themselves in public"
I should've shut up
So fellas if you want a long happy life
Remember to give the right answer
Let's say your wife comes home from the beauty salon
And looks like they cut her hair with a weed eater
You tell her that hair looks great
If she cooks you a dinner that would gag the dog
You eat it like it's your last meal
If she's wearing a pair of jeans that
Would fit over the Goodyear blimp
You tell her just how thin she looks
And you make that your final answer
And then shut up