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She's Vibrator Dependant [Explicit]
Mojo Nixon
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
I came home early one night from work
Thought my wife's in bed, the jerk
She'd nerded a big piece of plastic
Yelling and a-screaming, Super Deluxe creaming
She don't want my love stick
You know why? 'Cause she's vibrator dependent
Don't want me in it
Says I don't make the right noise
Been replaced by batteries
Hey there fellas, can't you see?
She just wants to play with her toy
ย
Oh, she don't wanna go out and dance
She don't wanna get in my pants
Stay home and vibrate
Getting big blisters on my hands
Thinking maybe I ain't a man
At least she won't get impregnate
You know why? 'Cause she's vibrator dependent
Don't want me in it
Says I don't make the right noise
Been replaced by batteries
Hey there fellas, can't you see?
She just wants to playI'm watchin' the
Race, and Rusty Wallace blows an engine
I think I can smell the motor oil burnin'
But then I remember the bride of Mojo was in the bedroom
With Vibratorzilla and a case of Count Johnson's Baby Oil
Turns out, Richard Petty won the race, I went back in time
Bride of Mojo comes out of the bedroom
And she is happy, she's happy as a clam
And she does the "I'm happy as a clam" dance
She said, "Mojo, you can put your face in a special place
"Any goddamn time you want to now
"Except I got somethin' I gotta tell ya"
She said, "Mogey-Wogey"
I knew it was bad then
She said, "Mogey-Wogey
"It's that certain time of the month"
Now, some of y'all never seen the show before
Thinkin', "Well, that's gotta be the end of the song"
I will go where no man has gone before
I don't care if I get ring around the face
I don't care if I come home Chief Red Stick
I don't care if I got red wings
And I'm not talkin' about the boots, baby
I'm goin' in
I looked down at the Red Sea, and I parted it like Moses
And down at the bottom of the Red Sea
I saw the little man in the boat
And I said, "Little man in the boat, up Periscope, baby!"
ย
Now, you're wonderin' how a little
Man in a boat could have a periscope
Quit fuckin' thinkin'
ย
I was happy, bride of Mojo was happy
Cat was fuckin' ecstatic
She said, "Mojo, you can put your face in a special place
"Any time you want to
"But you're gonna have to
"Yeah, you're gonna have to
"Make a little noise"
I took her down to see a nurse
Cure her of this terrible curse
Doctor said, "Lady, you're afflicted
"Ma'am, you've got a terrible habit
"Now, I told you not to grab it
"I told you not toโhey, hey, hey!"
Vibrator dependent, don't want me in it
Says I don't make the right noise
And it plays by batteries
Hey there, fellas, can't you see?
She just wants to play with her toy
She just wants to play with her toy
She just wants to play with her toy
I might need another gin and tonic
ย