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No Dirty Magazines
Brian Posehn
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I don't know how to... There's some loaded questions that I don't
Know how to answer. Like the other day, my wife was dressed super
Hot and we were going out, and, uh, she goes, "I look like a whore
" And I fucking panicked, 'cause I wanted her to dress like that
Again. So I was like, "A pretty whore! Not one of the gross ones."
My wife doesn't like porn or smut in the house, so I'm not allowed
To have anything, like any wack material, no Playboy, nothing
Not even Maxim, 'cause she thinks it's, you know, obj- objectifying
Women. So I showed her, uh, I beat off to her magazines. You know
Glamour, Vogue, the IKEA catalog. I'm a dude, I can rub one out to
Anything. I mean, I could get one up for a picture of a sweater
I mean, that's how I started beating off. You know, like most guys
You know, when I was a kid, I didn't need to look at Farrah Fawcett
Or whoever, uh, you know, I could just look at a picture of three
Bras and fucking, "Let's go! Imagine those bras full of titties."
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