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Keelhaul!
Pirates of Tomorrow
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There once was a pirate, a scoundrel named Lou
With a fancy for treasures, but not for the crew
He'd sneak in the night with a wink and a smile
Plotting his schemes with a riverboat guile
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, Keelhaul the bastard!
Lou thought he'd trick us, but we caught him faster
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, down to the sea
Where the waves and the sharks will keep him company
First he wrote letters in bottles, oh dear
"Your password's been breached, give it here, have no fear!"
He dressed like a maiden, a damsel in woe
"Email me back with your secret cargo!"
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, Keelhaul the bastard!
Lou thought he'd trick us, but we caught him faster
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, down to the sea
Where the waves and the sharks will keep him company
With a parrot named Percy, our Lou took the stage
"Surrender your numbers or face Percy's rage!"
He mimicked the captain, on parchment so fine
"Hand over your keys, or you'll walk the line!"
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, Keelhaul the bastard!
Lou thought he'd trick us, but we caught him faster
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, down to the sea
Where the waves and the sharks will keep him company
He plundered the pantry and shared poisoned rum
"Drink up my mates, let your fingers go numb."
But savvy old pirates are wise to deceit
With shackles and chains, Lou's fate did he meet
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, Keelhaul the bastard!
Lou thought he'd trick us, but we caught him faster
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, down to the sea
Where the waves and the sharks will keep him company
He fashioned a crown and declared, "I'm King Lou
All hail your new ruler, now give me your loot!"
But the crew saw through his crooked charade
And tied him up tight, not a soul was swayed
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, Keelhaul the bastard!
Lou thought he'd trick us, but we caught him faster
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, down to the sea
Where the waves and the sharks will keep him company
So if you're a pirate with tricks up your sleeve
Remember old Lou and the way he did grieve
For secrets and treasures, keep honest and true
Or the briny deep might come calling for you
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, Keelhaul the bastard!
Lou thought he'd trick us, but we caught him faster
Keelhaul, Keelhaul, down to the sea
Where the waves and the sharks will keep him company
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