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Cap Gun

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Almost had a meltdown It felt like a prison Talking to myself now No one else will get it I feel like I'm hell bound Questioned my religion I could use some help now You know what, forget it I'm down on my luck I'm down to my soul The feeling gets hot The feeling cold Maybe it's stop, but maybe it's go What's fun is no one ever knows Early morning Hold my head Should I go to work? Should I go to bed? Honestly I'm sick of playing Simon says, yeah I've battled my whole life But shit didn't go right I'm living with regrets I'm tryna be polite I'm out here in California My family don't know I- I barely can pay my rent This shit ain't no goldmine Don't know how to chill Maybe when the sun goes down I will feel a little more closer To the words that I shout Human beings are just some posers Anybody can smile But some of us on the ropes With the gun in they mouth I just keep going envision Me scoring with Pippen And when I'm dying inside Hit the respawn and pivot Letting go of my pride And other things that's only holding me back Life's quick, don't be slow to react Almost had a meltdown It felt like a prison Talking to myself now No one else will get it I feel like I'm hell bound Questioned my religion I could use some help now You know what, forget it I'm down on my luck I'm down to my soul The feeling gets hot The feeling cold Maybe it's stop, but maybe it's go What's fun is no one ever knows I might have to hit the lotto I might have to quit the bottle I might have to hit the throttle Wonder if I'll get tomorrow Hold up that's a pill to swallow People are so quick to follow Money over everything Hope I don't forget the motto I was forcing my hand Falling through on my promises But I know that within Is a choice, is a friend Feeling so I need some trips to Rio I need to quit the vino How do I dip with all my chips There's plenty more casinos My life's a script that I don't get So I pretend I'm Neo Like I'm the hero But the villain isn't other people I fear that I just don't have what it takes To be the man that I want Or someone that doesn't break I know I'm learning from failure The hardest part is the shame And that I never will be the same Shoot my like a cap gun Hold in my reaction Oh I see you laughing Is it really that fun?