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America
D.L. Hughley
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You know, we don't have the right to be shocked by violence anymore
We're a very violent country. Like, we may have a lot of great
Things going for us, I'd never live anywhere else, but we kill
Some motherfuckers, we kill a lot. Like, it's thousands of people
Die here every year, man. We have seven guns for every single
Human being that lives in the fucking country. And I'm no peacenik
I fucking love guns, I got seven of them. Three of them are automatic
Weapons. I don't lie and go, "Ooh, I'm a hunter!" I'm not. I'm
Waiting for a motherfucker to break in my house. He can look like
A deer. "How come you shot that deer?" "Because it was running
Down the street with my iPod, that's why I shot that fucking deer."
We have a warped perception of reality. Like, you realize you
Can't buy a rap album at Walmart that mentions guns in the lyrics
But you can actually buy a fucking gun? "You have the new Jay-
Z?" "We would never carry that, we're a family store." "What
About a Uzi?" "Aisle three. Take one, get one free, just today."
We do things, like Alabama passed a law that was so strict
Toward illegal immigrants that 189,000 illegal immigrants left
Alabama ten days later, which Alabama rejoiced in until they
Realized they had no one to pick their crops. And their crops
Is actually cotton, true story. They tried to reach out to black
People, we was like, "Nah! We had our turn. Who's got next?"
Arizona wants you to walk around with proof of citizenship. Now
Who the fuck walks around with proof of American citizenship?
If somebody walked in right now and said, "You prove to me
You're an American citizen," what the fuck are you gonna do
Show them three maxed-out credit cards and a foreclosure notice?
I'm not gonna say Arizona's racist, but they were the last state in
The Union to ratify the Martin Luther King holiday, that's a
Different kind of hate there. Like, I don't give a fuck if you
Believe in him or not, that's a day off, fuck you. For a Friday off
I'll celebrate Klan day, I ain't bullshitting. "I hate niggas!" "
Me too sometimes. Especially a pack
Of niggas with a pack, was a pack!"