McDonald's in the Pentagon Extended Version
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There's a McDonald's in the pentagon
I work at the McDonald's in the Pentagon
Yeah there's not a bunch of spots for lunch
But its a killer gig back serving up the Big Macs
Serve 'em in the Pentagon
The other venders came and went, there gone
It did not go well for Taco Bell
And there was all that stress at the old Panda Express
So stick with us and your set
Our cooking's standard straight for corporate
It will be like any other location
'cept no small talk about your occupation
Not allowed at the Pentagon
Reheating nuggets we put plenty on
And our faces flush through every rush
The beeps get discordant but your work is so important
Working at the pentagon
So glad were all working at the Pentagon
All the DoorDash drivers get confused
Cause users blew through the clues
Didn't peruse the reviews
Cuz like you just dropped a check on McDonald's
Not checking which one that you spent it on
Bitch you just hit the Pentagon
At the McDonald's in the Pentagon
There is quite a lot of rules cuz its the pentagon
They'll often request random drug tests
So all my buddies stick to cigarretes and liqour
I don't like either
They make me want to throw up
But since I would like a breather
I buy packs of smokes and show up
I hate asking for spares
And otherwise why am I there? For air?
Ripe for firing
Just for slacking and admiring
Humid afternoons
In Arlington Virginia junes
Hot pavement like stainless countertops
Wipe clean when the orders finally stop
Back to work
Across the way we got a chocolate shop
The Pentagon has a McDonald's and a chocolate shop
It was an allocation from the Bush administration
I don't care for those jerks
But I sure care for the girl who works there
She's at the register
My hearts McFluttering
But it never registers
And all the feds are muttering
But the meat thermometer I only use it on hers
She's the only soul I would protect here from E. Coli
Get another serving in
Look in my eyes I really mean it when I say
I hope you supersize
I fantasize, fries expire into cyanide
I say they're fresh but I lie
Convincing them I'm on their side
If you reach the epic peak of every patriots ambition
Come to my place of employment for the inverse of nutrition
What we do to the McFlurrys feels liberational
With special clearance to know
If that machine is operational
It's not