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Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde
Epic Rap Battles of History
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I'll handle this, darling
I'm known to fire off some bars
Cause if these lovers cross me
They're gonna end up seeing stars
I mean I'll let you go first
But damn sure I'm getting licks in
On this hissy fitting rich kid
And this prepubescent vixen
I'm sick of them
Let's beat them then
And we can rob them blind
I'll stick this punk up from the front
I'll take this broad from behind
And pop a cap in the ass
Of the last Capulet heiress
Give miss no nights in Paris
A reason to cry to her parents
Oh! Romeo, O Romeo
Wherefore you trying to flow yo?
Mofo you soft as a froyo
Are those the drapes or your clothes bro?
There's gonna be a tragedy
Make you ache like your balls on the balcony
Barrow gang put their money where their mouth is
Spit sick like a plague on both your houses
My love
Your face is beauty to behold
I will protect thine honor
From these dust bowl dildos
A moment's break from your gaze
Is an eternity past
So together we shall both
Put these bitches on blast
En guard
Thou artless beetle-headed flax wench
The only insult you have thrust
Upon me is thine stench
Why don't you twist up on these nuts
I hear you're good with a wrench
The dismal state of your raps
Should be a federal offense
And you there
Wench with the neck of a chicken
You'll get an ass ripping worse
Than your boyfriend's in prison
You're not a true romance
You're just a conjugal visit
Oh but that's not even
Your real husband, now is it
Hey partner
You best put a muzzle on your missus
'Fore I teach her how we handle
Disrespect down in Texas
Do you quarrel, sir
Ho, shall I draw my long sword
Or will you duck your chicken-shit ass
Back into your Ford
How could you beat my man
In some mano-a-mano
You can't protect your best friend
From some John Leguizamo
No, no my Romeo
Will beat your beau
In contest blow-for-blow
He will do upon thine dick
What you have done upon your tow
Oh! I am killed
What irony is this
The lead role shot down
By a failed actress
Then I shall kill myself
On my stomach I shall lie
So you louts can lick my ass
Thus with a diss I die
Oops! Nevermind
My flesh was merely grazed
Where's Romeo? Oh Nomeo!
There's poison on your face
Oh happy dagger pierce me true
Persuade my breath to stop
Sheath yourself inside my heart
And like the beat, I drop
Well that was tragic
That did not go as expected
Would have done that boy some good
To just wait a couple seconds
It's kinda sad though, really
So young to have just died
Well, at least we got each other
Just Bonnie
And-
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