“You Have A Good Third Husband, Joanne”

Stephen Sondheim

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🇬🇧 English · Original

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You have a good third husband, Joanne He's a good man Anyway Thank you for the evening I'm glad I joined you I was really feeling low, really depressed I drank but you really put it away tonight The last several times we've gotten together I've had shameful hangovers, abominable We may be doing permanent damage, did you think of that? I don't know what to think of the fact that you only drink with me That is not unflattering I guess, no I hope I don't depress you We have good times and it's a hoot, yeah Whatever you say What are you looking at, Joanne? It's my charisma, huh? Well stop looking at my charisma When are we gonna make it? I beg your pardon When are we going to make it? What's wrong with now? There's my place, it's free tomorrow after 2, Larry goes to his gym and then right to the office Don't talk, don't do your folksy routine with me You're a terribly attractive man The kind of man most women want but never seem to get I'll take care of you But who will I take care of? Well did you hear yourself? Did you hear what you just said, kiddo? I didn't mean that Oh, I just heard a door open that's been stuck a long time Like I haven't looked at all that The check is paid What's wrong? Because I have looked at that and marriage isn't all that, and what do you get for it? What do you get? What happened? I just did someone a big favor Come on, Larry, let's go home What do you get? Bobby, Bobby Bobby, baby Bobby, boo-bi Bobby Robert, darling Bobby we've been trying to call you Angel I got something to tell you Bobby we've been trying to reach you all day Bobby there was something we wanted to say STOOOOOP What do you get?