The Cost
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I don't trust like I used to
Love like I used to
Trip like I used to
They just wanna use you
And that's what I'm used to
It costs too much
And the price goes up
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Now I been losing sleep to my anxiety
This world is full of fiends, I'm losing friends to my sobriety
No one's what they seem, my girl just
Spent the whole night crying for me
She swear to God I cheat so every time I step
Outside the crib she beg me not to leave
I know relationships need trust and we don't got enough
Y'all finding friends, I'm finding alibis inside the club
Nowadays I'm talking less, every conversation leads to arguments
And I don't care who right or wrong, I just want it all to end
I started texting other broads again
'Cause you just been accusing me nonstop
I might as well do what you thought I did
And I been harboring resentment
So it's hard to keep a friendship
When your heart just isn't in it, girl, it's hard to keep pretending
All my dogs is telling me that I should leave
Like "Yo, you bad for my career"
You say you not, I believe you
Ain't no sparking, we ain't fucking, we can't come to an agreement
I'm addicted to the drama
I don't love it, but I need it
We been screaming at each other
Other day I almost hit you
Shit, I never thought of touching a woman 'til I was with you
And it scares me, now I don't like that side of me
If you don't understand why I been driven
How the fuck you plan to ride for me?
It been bubbling inside of me
I been dealing with it quietly
Are you struggling with trust?
'Cause I don't struggle with monogamy
Truth is, is it don't really make a difference
'Cause it don't matter if I'm honest
If you still are asking questions
We been stressing over money
We been beefing over bills
And keeping track of who been spending what
That petty shit'll kill you
I don't care about other bitches
Though I'm prone to have my fill
I'm tryna lay this foundation that the both of us can build from
We supposed to have some children and adopt your nephew
And get a condo in the Lower
With an Audi and a dog we rescue
Sometimes I wish that it could all be simple
But ain't no way that's gon' happen
When you think about the shit we been through
I don't trust like I used to
Love like I used to
Trip like I used to
They just wanna use you
And that's what I'm used to
It costs too much
And the price goes up
Yeah, yeah
Your father hit you, shit, you hinted at him touching you
It's probably why you love to call me daddy when I'm fucking you
You validate yourself through sexuality and love from dudes
And girl, it's been a while for us, so tell me who you running to
You staying late at work and sleeping out
Got me feeling like a guest in my own house
Shit, I been sleeping on the couch
Coming home in clothes I know you can't afford
And it's crazy, I been buying 'em for you
'Cause girl, I know it ain't me
Who been taking you for dinner you don't eat at home?
Already know the answers to these fucking questions
I should leave 'em 'lone
Shit, I don't even know you lately, you a stranger
And the closer that I get to my success, the more you change up
You claim you want me winning, but with every little victory
Gon' come another argument, you bitching, talking shit to me
You begging me to keep you company in all your misery
You telling me you'd die for me, but you refuse to live with me
See women in my industry and call 'em like I'm fucking 'em
But I'm just working with these girls
You think I fall in love with them
And after that shit happen, when I see 'em, I be ducking 'em
'Cause I don't want the drama to catch up with us
I know I should be done with us
But something keep me here and keep you with me
Conversations give you more ammunition to use against me
Try to see you, you won't let me
And you text me like you miss me
How the fuck your full lips feel empty when you kiss me?
Huh? Wish it was different, yeah, but girl, it isn't
And now the one that I can't live without is not the one I live with
I been out with different women every night just to forget it
But it don't feel the same, now something missing
Something feeling out of place
Ain't no reaching you, what the fuck you wanting me to do?
You're dead to me, now I ain't getting over you, I'm grieving you
You made an enemy of someone who believed in you
But something 'bout us make me wanna be with you
I don't trust like I used to
Love like I used to
Trip like I used to
They just wanna use you
And that's what I'm used to
It costs too much
And the price goes up
I don't trust like I used to
Love like I used to
Trip like I used to
They just wanna use you
And that's what I'm used to
It costs too much
And the price goes up