Teenage Love on the Phone
Adam Sandler/Allen Covert
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R: So you doing good?
S: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R: How good could I be? I haven't seen you in three hours
S: Oh, Richie. Hey, Richie, my dad's down the
Hall and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if
I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming
R: Okay. So look, do you wanna meet at the Spring Fling dance this...
S: Look, look
R: Hello?
S: Sorry, I thought he was coming
R: That's okay. So about the dance, do, do you wanna meet there?
S: Um, well, my brother gets the car on Friday night
R: Well, that's okay, I'll come by and get you. Let's say around...
S: Look, look
R: Come on
R: Hey?
S: Sorry, I guess he was just going to the bathroom
R: That's okay. Well, look, what was I saying? Oh, yeah
Yeah. Should I pick you up at, like, 7:30? Or do you
Wanna maybe go later when the dance is really kicking?
S: Look, look
R: Give me a break
R: Hello?
S: Sorry, it was just my dog
R: Hey, what's your dad's problem anyways? Why can't we talk?
S: He just thinks I'm on the phone too much. Oh my God, I gotta go
R: Don't hang up
S: Richie, I can't talk
R: No, I'm sick of this. Put your
Dad on the phone, I wanna talk to him
S: Uh, it's not my dad
R: What? Well, who's there? Why can't you talk?
S: Uh, just, look, Richie, I... Someone is here
R: Who's there? Is it a guy?
S: Richie
R: I knew it. I'll kill him. Put him on the phone
S: Uh, just hold on
R: Hey, man, what the hell are you doing there? Samantha's my girl
You better stay away from her or I'll
Make you wish you were never born
S: Fucking shit
R: Yeah, fucking shit is right, buddy. Don't think I'm kidding
Around, man. I'm crazy. I'll smash your head in, I swear to God
S: One time I saw my grandmother in the shower
Her bush starts above her belly button
R: Yeah, well, that's too bad, but I'm still
Gonna come over there and beat your face in
S: What happened? Was he mad?
R: My neighbor's dog has a four-inch clit
S: Oh, buffoon, you're the coolest. I love you