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Alicia Keys
Maria Bamford
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Okay, let's bring it back up
Okay, so you guys um, do you guys like do you guys like music? Yes music
I'd be weird here to somebody go, I hate music
Why must they dance?
Uh, I love music, I do love it
I love it so much, but if you hear something once it becomes a hit for me
I find myself humming songs i'm completely morally opposed to
A whole new world, a new horizon to pursue
No one to tell us no where to go, we say we're only dreaming
Oh my God, what have I just sung to myself?
Now um, I mean for all I know that song could be saying, you know like uh
For us a dirty and wrong
Poor children just should get jobs
Christians make more sense than Muslims
And the rich are super nice
But it's catchy, and that's why I like it
I like, uh, my favourite singer right now is, uh, of course, Alicia Keys
And, um, yeah, she's great
She's the silly goose
And, uh
Here's why, uh, she sings this song and she does like this very white talk down in the middle of it and um
And she's like, you know, kinda getting all sexy and she's like
Uh hello? Is this Michael? Oh shit I don't normally do this but
Okay, it's clear she's done it before
Uh, she seems quite confident, well spoken
Uh, so you always coming in the restaurant
Or the special with a hot chocolate
My manager always be tripping for me to use water but I always use milk and cream for you
Okay, we get it
Milk, cream, hot chocolate
So you always comin' in your suit with your cufflinks so shiny and bright
So what do you do? Oh, well that sounds interesting
Okay, she does not even listen to what that guy does unless he's like a chef or a pope or something
She doesn't care about what he does
Hold up, my cell phone be breaking up
Uh, can you hear me now?
And, um, Alicia Keys is a goose and she's silly which makes her a silly goose
Now, I had a comedian tell me, she said, "Hey, Maree, you need to kinda strengthen that joke
You know, what's the point of that joke?"
Uh-uh, Alicia Keys, silly goose!
That's how I'm ending it
Oh gosh, you know, gotta take a stand somewhere