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Peddler Not A Pusher (19 Feb '74)
Jimmy Buffett
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I wanna do some new things for ya, ah
'Cause I hit a hot streak, I
I did, I hit a hot streak that blew me away
Hot flashes
No, that was last night
That's why I was late gettin' here, hot flashes
I wrote a song called, I hadn't finished it, called
"I Bet Mel Blanc's Got Money In The Bank"
And I got a real crazy idea, and, ah
I wrote this one, and, since it's
Gas shortage is as bad here as it is in Florida, I guess
Well, it's just starting here, but you can't find any gasoline
And, ah, like, was it here that the guys pulled?
There are all kind of weird things happening
And there's no, there's not a full moon or anything
(That was LA), oh, that was LA
Where they pulled, two guys just went in, two cars went in
And they just went in and stopped, on a Sunday, at the pump
And just sat there and pretended like they were pumpin' gas
And people started coming in, and they stayed for about an hour
And it's true, and the line got about six blocks long
And then, then the two cars drove off
And left some pissed-off people behind, man
Well actually, I was flying, I came from Atlanta yesterday, and I was like
I just, I won't listen to the news anymore, I just refuse to
It is, it's just so depressing, 'cause, I wrote
The last time I watched it, Walter Cro-, I wrote this for Walter Cronkite
Because, you know, if you watch the news, he can give
He gives it to you with a little bit of sobriety, and
Sort of eases the pain a bit, you know?
When he says, "Good evening", you know?
Walter can sort of edge you over and
Bring you, you know, bring you back a little bit
But he looked so distressed
The night I saw, this was in December, you know?
Like, the panic hit before the crunch got here, that's the thing
Everybody was panicking, then, I could say, figure, well
We can get gas, but now there isn't, and like
In Key West, I, I found, said I was talking to Mitchell Sky at the radio station
Well, a tank truck delivering gas to Key West
Jack-knifed on the Seven-Mile Bridge and it
And they couldn't get it off for like eight hours
So traffic was backed up
And it just, like, Key West people are so crazy
They just got out on the bridge and had, people, there were a couple
There was a limousine comin' down and so they
There was a, a liquor truck and a guy started givin' out, like, liquor
And they had this big party and there was a
There was a, a go-go dancer on the way to a gig in Key West
And she got out and started go-going on the bridge
And they were jumpin' off, swimmin', and it went on for like eight hours
Before they could get the truck pulled away
And I didn't even know it happened at home
And I was so sorry I missed it all
Hey, come on in
(Is this being recorded?)
Yeah, it's on tape, so don't say anything that you'll be sorry for
Let me do my thing and I'll be out of your way
Okay
(I'm the, I'm the drummer) oh, (I must get my sticks), okay
A drummer with no sticks is like a plumber with no
With no plunger
Okay, man
ย
This is, um, this is the, my energy crisis song
First protest song in eight years
Like, well, it's humor, it's funny, I can't write down songs
Lord Buckley said, "Humor is the absence of terror"
Except if you laugh at it long enough, it'll go away, I guess
Only thing is, I plagiarized when I wrote this song
But I tried to, tried to be real, ah, secretive and sneaky and
ย
They're runnin' outta gas for your automobile
The only way to get it's gonna know how to steal
Push your car home 'til your back starts breakin'
I'm sorry now, kiddies, that's too much to take and
I wanna be a peddler, not a pusher
Can't wait 'til they find that new gusher
Skinny tires and wires get me where I want to go
No gas for campers or trailers
None for big yachts or even Boston whalers
The only people movin' gonna be the sailors
Just casting their fate to the wind
Dun-dun-dun, snuck that in, didn't I?
I wanna be a peddler, not a pusher
I can't wait 'til they find a new gusher
Skinny tires and wires get me where I want to go
And I hope this record won't be my final
But the company is just about to run out of vinyl
Maybe they'll go back to plastic on paper
Or even punching holes in vanilla wafers
So now, people, you have heard my warning
You've got to get up, kind of, early this morning, and
Pick out a one, or two, or three-wheeler
But get your ass down to the bicycle dealer, and
You can be a peddler, not a pusher
Don't stick around, there ain't no new gusher
Skinny tires and wires get me where I want to go
Where I want to go
ย
There ya are Walter, there's your song
Goodness gracious, I got all these new songs
I oughtta do, what does she want? What do you want to hear?
To this, 'cause you all waited so long
Wanna hear, "God's Own Drunk"?
Let me finish my beer and do that
Anything else? Carmen Miranda?
(Carmen) What? (They don't dance like Carmen)
Railroading lady? (Oh, yes)
That's the air, what is that?
("Why Don't We Get Drunk"?)
Oh (we should record that), oh (we gotta record that), please
Let me do "Railroad"
This, this one goes out to an old lady
Jerry Jeff and I wrote this on the train
She saved our life
She read us the menu, so we could eat
You know they seat you in the
There's no, like, discrete seating on trains
They, they put you where there's a chair
In the dining car, and this poor old lady wound up with just
We just been blitzed, we were coming back from New Orleans
We'd done a gig and ran into Tracy Nelson on the train
And Toad Andrews, the guitar here, her guitar player
And we were just doing, like, real sane things
Like opening up the windows between the cars
And sticking our head out and just screamin'
As the train was goin' 80 miles an hour, just yellin' into the wind
You know? Like, real dangerous
So we got, that caused us to have a severe appetite
Lotta yellin'
So we went into the dining car and they sat all three of us down
With this one old lady and
Sure, just, what's on this? What's on this menu?
I said, "Hell, I can't read it, what, what is it?"
And I knew they had apple pie and ice cream on the train
I knew I wanted that
I'm so hungry, I'm going to try right after this and eat some Eggs Benedict
But, ah, she saved our lives, she's on her way back to Kentucky
She'd come from Arizona or somewhere like that
Been on the train for three days
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