I Was Ready
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I was ready
Like a battleship at Pearl Harbor
I was steady
Like a shave with a part-time barber
I was green
And need I tell you that isn't easy
But I was happy
Not to mention grumpy and sneezy
I was rolling
Like a cue ball straight for the pocket
And I had no doubt
Just how things would turn out to be
I was sure
And I was certain
But romance rang down the curtain
I was ready for her
But she wasn't ready for me
I was ready
Like a goose that's cooked to perfection
But I was open
For a left to the low mid-section
I'd been through it
Like a plumber who cleans the drains out
But I blew it
When the good Lord passed all the brains out
I was ready
Just like Oswald was ready for Ruby
Like intern Lewinsky was ready to star on TV
I was poised
And well-prepared
But who knew?
And what's more, who cared?
I was ready for her
Nelson Eddy for her
I was ready for her
But she wasn't ready for me
She wasn't ready for me