Kobe And Cable
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You guys are funny
I'm sensing you're having fun
But you ain't sitting where I'm sitting
There's one guy in here who has not cracked a smile once
I'm so freaking insecure
'Cause I want everybody in the room to have fun
And I swear to God this guy in the retarded Italian guinea shirt
Look at this thing
That shirt is so gay he looks like the fairy godfather
But before that, he didn't laugh once
I swear to God at this point I'd rather
Go Christmas fishing with Scott Peterson
Than talk to this freaking guy
But be honest with me
Who's happy he's guilty, am I right?
Come on man, that's awesome
You kill a pregnant bitch, you go to jail
Remember that, Tyrone
That's some stuff, man
But let me tell you
And feel free to boo me, go ahead, bring it on
If you disagree, screw you
You know who was never guilty?
Was Mr. Freaking Kobe Bryant
That pissed me off, man
'Cause who's with me that that girl was a gold digging hoor?
That's right, yeah, that's right, man
They should have dismissed that case from day one
'Cause have you girls gotten a look at Kobe Bryant?
That's one hot, good looking brother
With a good job
If he raped me, that'd be an upgrade
No, it's not like Al Sharpton snuck up behind her
Yeah son, yeah son
With the wig hanging off to the side
And the cross hitting her in the ass
That's a rape
Now, rape is nothing to joke about
Except tonight
But girls, you bitches gotta learn
It ain't a rape if the guy's good looking
Come on man, you're telling me two hot black guys jump me in the alley
I'm calling the cops?
Hell no
That's not a felony
That's a party
I would take 'em both and make an Oreo cookie out of those guys, man
I was too horny, right?
I'm sorry
Is this 'cause I'm on the road all the time and never get laid?
But oh my God, you know what I discovered?
Porns
Isn't porn fun?
There's some really, really good black porns out there
Get 'em ladies, write it down
Cuckoo for Coco Cox, that's awesome
Interracial Facial
Hard On's in the Hood, very nice
And In and Out of Africa, that's the classy one
But listen to this
I'm on the road 50 weeks a year
So of course porn gets very expensive
So you know what I found a cost cutting technique?
BET
That's right, man
I spank it out to old Ludacris
But get this, man
I got a problem this weekend 'cause my hotel is racist
They don't got no BET, they just got MTV
So there I am, scratching the old record to Fiddy
And all of a sudden, it ends
And some white guy John Mayer comes on
I lose my wide on, what am I supposed to do?
Turn to the other black channel, Court TV
Ah, very intelligent
I'm about education, people
That's education, senor