Gee Office Krupke!

[theatre]

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🇬🇧 English · Original

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Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke You gotta understand It's just our bringin' upke That gets us out of hand Our mothers all are junkies Our fathers all are drunks Golly Moses, naturally we're punks! Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset We never had the love that every child oughta get We ain't no delinquents, we're misunderstood Deep down inside us there is good There is good There is good, there is good, there is untapped good Like inside, the worst of us is good [BOY 1 (spoken) That's a touchin' good story! [CRUPKE (spoken) Let me tell it to the world! [BOY 1 (spoken) Just tell it to the judge! Dear kindly Judge, Your Honor My parents treat me rough With all the marijuana They won't give me a puff They didn't wanna have me But somehow I was had Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a square This boy don't need a judge, he needs a analyst's care It's just his neurosis that oughta be cuipped He's psychologically distyipped I'm distyipped We're distyipped, we're distyipped, we're the most distyipped Like we're psychologically distyipped Hear ye, hear ye! In the opinion of this court, this child is Depraved on accounta he ain't had a normal home Hey, I'm depraved on accounta I'm deprived! So take him to a headshrinker! Headshrinker! Headshrinker! My father is a bastard My ma's an S.O.B My grandpa's always plastered My grandma pushes tea My sister wears a mustache My brother wears a dress Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess Yes! Officer Krupke, you're really a slob This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologically he's sick I am sick We are sick, we are sick, we are sick, sick, sick Like we're sociologically sick In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head Shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease Hey, I got a social disease! So take him to a social worker! Social worker! Social worker! Dear kindly Social Worker They say go earn some dough Like be a soda jerker Which means like be a schmo It's not I'm antisocial I'm only antiwork Gloryosky, that's why I'm a jerk Eek! Officer Krupke, you've done it again This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen It ain't just a question of misunderstood Deep down inside him he's no good! I'm no good! We're no good, we're no good, we're no earthly good Like the best of us is no damn good The trouble is he's lazy! The trouble is he drinks! The trouble is he's crazy! The trouble is he stinks! The trouble is he's growing! The trouble is he's grown! Krupke, we've got troubles of our own Gee, Officer Krupke, we're down on our knees 'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease Gee, Officer Krupke, what are we to do? Gee, Officer Krupke, krup you!