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Funky Cold Medina
Dance Heaven
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I dig it
Cold calling at the bar, looking for some action
But like Mick Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm looking
Def, yo, what's up with the L-O-C?
The girls are all a-jocking at the other end of the bar
Having drinks with some old chump, but you know what, I'm a star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked a guy, "Why you so fly?" He said, "Funky Cold Medina"
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Funky Cold Medina
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This brother told me a secret on how to get some chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass and the girls come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap
So I gave some to my dog, when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and looked at
Me and he did a wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for that funky Cold Medina
You know what I'm saying?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breaking down my door
I got Spuds, Mackenzie, Alex and Strolls
They don't leave my dog alone with that Medina thing
I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"
I thought she'd be good to go with a little funky Cold Medina
She said, "I don't like to drink", I said, "Okay, I'll go and get it"
Then a couple of sips, she curled her lips and there she was with it
So I took her to my crib and everything went as planned
But when she got undressed, a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Mayne and wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the funky Cold Medina
You know?
Ain't no plans with the man
This is the eighties and I'm down with the ladies
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Break it down
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Back in the saddle, looking for affection
I took a shot, I thought I'd test her
Love with a little love connection
The audience gets voted and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton Ford, met her with some dinner
She had a few drinks, I think soon what I'd be getting
But when she started talking 'bout plans for a wedding
I said, "Wait, slow down, love, not so fast, I'll be seeing ya"
That's when I found you don't play around with the funky Cold Medina
You know what I'm saying?
That Medina's a monster, yo
Funky Cold Medina
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