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Fat Dragon
Twisted Game Songs
Popularity ยท Low
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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We went down deep where the daylight ends
Steel in our hands, spell slots to spend
Heard a roar that made the rogue squirm
He said oh shit, it's an ancient wyrm
Smoke rolled thick from a molten door
Claws scraped loud on the cavern floor
Sulfur smell in the air, like an egg
Then out he waddled, built like a keg
Fat Dragon, well-fed king
Hear the cavern crack and ring
Shakes the lair with stomps and thumps
All bow down to the Lord of Chonks
To the Lord of Chonks
He spread his wings, a wheezing cry
Like he forgot how to fly
Tried to leap with a mighty shout
Lifted an inch, then bottomed out
Belly swinging side to side
Scales stretched thin from buffet pride
He didn't charge, he didn't strafe
He rolled at us like a molten freight
Fat Dragon, well-fed king
Hear the cavern crack and ring
Shakes the lair with stomps and thumps
All bow down to the Lord of Chonks
To the Lord of Chonks
I swear I saw him once on a screen
In some big-budget D&D scene
Chasing heroes through caves of steam
Trying to gobble up the team
He breathed out fire, the cavern shook
Then paused like, you guys got snacks to cook
Not sleek or savage, not lean or fast
Just an ancient red with a colossal ass
The fighter yelled, I'll take his head
The cleric whispered, we're fucking dead
The rogue just stared at the moving hill
Said, that fat bastard will never be full
He stomped once, the ceiling cracked
Lava splashed and the forge doors smacked
We didn't fight, we dodged and ran
He puked up fire and a flaming ham
Oh gods above, what the hell is that
That's not a wyrm, that's a furnace with fat
He wheezed out fire and someone's thigh
All the Underdark heard that bastard cry
He roared so loud the cavern cracked
Then burped up bone from a midnight snack
Fire and grease and molten drag
All stuffed in a scaly meat-sack bag
So hear this tale if you feel brave
Chasing gold to an early grave
If the tunnels shake and the forge lights flare
And something wheezes in smoky air
Turn your party the other way
Don't roll for loot, don't try to stay
If the ground starts moving in fiery clumps
You've found the lair of the Lord of Chonks
Fat Dragon, that well-fed king
Hear the cavern crack and ring
If the ground starts to shake and thump
You're the next snack for the Lord of Chonks
For the Lord of Chonks
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