Lotion
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My wife's always putting lotion on my face.
Don't you put a lot of lotion on your face out here in LA?
My wife fucking really lathers on the lotion.
She always says she's looking out for me.
She just puts a lot of lotion.
Like, there's too much.
Doesn't rub it in either.
She just puts it on my forehead, my cheeks, my nose...
Then I found out, before me,
my wife used to date a lemon meringue pie.
And I was like...
She still likes him.
She still likes him.
I know she does.
I don't give a shit.