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Sticks And Horse Turds
Larry the Cable Guy
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This is Larry the Cable Guy and I got me a puppy dog for Christmas
Two years ago. Every Christmas I think of this puppy dog. This poem
About my puppy dog is called "My Dog Likes Sticks
And Horse Turds." Goes like this. Sorry, I'm
Like, just breaks me up when I think about it
I spend lots of money on dog food
I think that's so absurd
'Cause that ungrateful daggum dog
Likes eating sticks and horse turds
My dog has fat-free food
It also helps his breath I heard
But my dog could give a damn
He likes sticks and horse turds
Animal writers say dogs are just like humans
And I think their vision's blurred
'Cause I like burgers and fries
My dog likes sticks and horse turds
Dogs don't care about what they eat
Sometimes they'll eat a bird
Give 'em a turkey at Thanksgiving
Daggum thing will come back with a horse turd
I like tipping strippers
That's right, redheads are preferred
Dogs don't care about naked girls
They're content with sticks and horse turds
God bless sticks and horse turds
My dog's two favorite things
Expensive dog food he don't need
Unless Alpo makes stick and horse turd feed
Get 'er done
That's a good poem right there
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