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That's Not My Neighbor: The Musical
Random Encounters, David King
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Something looks a little weird about this neighbor
They ain't sittin' right with me
I see you're on the list, but do me one more favor
Can I please see your ID?
This is a potato, not -- you know -- a license
I'm really feeling on the fence
Won't you please let me in? I am European!
Oh, that makes so much more sense!
Hello!
Hi! Name please
How many pancakes does it take to reshingle a dog house?
Uh... what?
Ehhh... goodbye
Something seems a little odd about my neighbor
There's something that I can't quite place
I'm a normal human bound for my apartment
Then what's that thing on your face?
This is called a "pocket." Many humans have them
Won't you let me go inside...?
That seems vaguely shady, but I trust you, lady
So I'll zip my lip and let this whole hiccup slide
Hello!
You again?
Are there any people left who still know how to do the Cha-Cha?
Are you having a Cha-Cha related problem, sir?
Goodbye
Something seems a little strange about my neighbor
This neighbor's always wearing a hat
Oh you wanna know about my nextdoor neighbor?
He's right here eatin' my cat!
If you see delinquency
Then just call me and the DDD!
Day or night, we'll keep it tight!
And smite these blighters dead on sight!
Something seems a little off about my neighbor
They got an awful lot of eyes
I just got a little medical procedure
That sounds a lot like a lie
I don't see your name here on my special ledger
Oh, I'm just here to dine
Were I more judicious, that might sound suspicious
But you seem perfectly fine
OoOGH!
Ah, finally!
Someone normal!
OoOGH?
Yes, I've been expecting you!
OooOoGH!
Now you stay out of trouble!
Ooo-ooGH!
Howdy! I'm a normal neighbor
Doin' harmless human stuff!
Look, I am loath to belabor
That your mug looks really flippin' rough!
I'm allergic to, uh-
Pollen?
Yeah!
Now I've got this subtle rash
And if I weren't to reach my room
My friends would think I've met my doom
From all this pollen that I've consumed
So please! Please! PLEASE!
Please, resume
Thanks a lot, chump
Man, I can't wait to go eat some human skin
I mean, uh... donuts
I hope that doesn't come back to bite me
Nothing seems remotely wrong about this neighbor
This neighbor's not a lick amiss
I don't see an issue. Everything's in order
Except you aren't on the list
I have extra milk to bring my human neighbors
I couldn't let it go to waste
Seems extremely gracious, not at all fallacious
My fears were clearly misplaced
Hello?
Look, I'm sorry, but I don't have time for-
Do you know of any good squirrel divorce lawyers?
All right, I-I'm super sorry about this
Sorry!
Something's sorta sketchy with this crowd of neighbors
The way they press against the glass
Let us in the building! We're not dopplegangers!
I can't just let you all pass!
Can't you see we're human? Normal, average neighbors!
The real McCoy without a doubt!
Swear that you won't eat me!
Cross our hearts completely!
As long as I keep the dopplegangers out!
(Here we come! Trust us, we're your neighbors!)
(Flesh and blood, not some shady strangers!)
(Have no fear, we're not dopplegangers!)
I couldn't throw my neighbors out!
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