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Shadowboxing

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I don't want to die I just want to disappear "You're alright" - is the last thing I want to hear When the world feels fucking heavy What's this moment here to tell me? The art of being unconstrained When every memory has been stained Every day's an uphill battle And there's nothing to unravel Continue moving to survive It's hard to breathe when buried alive Nothing behind my eyes I just want my fucking bed It's a special type of torment When you can't control your head Staring at a blank page or at the wall This orange bottle makes me numb - don't care at all Better than the shaking Better than the tears Better than recounting all the things that brought me here When the world feels stacked against me Once a home feels fucking empty Afraid that this was just the warmup Nothing to do when time's the hold up When my mind stops push and pulling Who the fuck do I think I'm fooling? Rewrote every memory So in the end the problem was me