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Car Crash vs Plane Crash
Kathleen Madigan
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They drive to Florida 'cause my mom won't fly anymore
The fear of flying has literally gone over the edge with her
It started years ago
And I do feel sorry for people who have that fear, 'cause it is real
And you see people at airports
You can always tell because their hands
Their palms are real sweaty
They'll talk to anyone
God forbid the time of departure changes
Then they completely unravel
They're like, this is it
I think this plane is broken, and they're going to fly it
Don't you? Yeah, I do
Today is the day
American Airlines is going to go give it a whirl
I don't care
Every part can't be that important
But it's weird to me that strangers
There will always be a stranger who will say to another stranger
"Oh, you shouldn't have a fear of flying
Because I'll tell you what
You have a better chance of being in a car crash
Than you do of being in a plane crash
And I want to say, but I won't 'cause it would be mean"
Yeah, but you have a much better chance
Of getting in a forgettable car crash
Than you do of being in a forgettable plane crash
There's no way you're going to be in a plane crash
Go to work on Monday and then Wednesday
Look at somebody you work with and go
"Did I forget to tell you?
On the way home from Milwaukee
My plane crash, I don't know if you saw that on CNN?
I was the lady running through the cornfield
My hair had gone on fire 'cause
I'm nearsighted, and I'd lost my glasses in the turbulence
I actually ran towards the explosion
Versus away from the explosion
That's why I called in sick yesterday
'Cause my head hurt
'Cause it had been on fire"
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