Guess Me Weight
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She was the perfect woman
She was my kind of a bird
'Cause she stayed in the kitchen
And she never said a word
She had real big tits
And a lovely slappable ass
But now she's into Barbie jeans
And white bars
I used to go out with her
'Cause she cooked me all me meals
Then one day she made a big
She won Miss Macclesfield
Married an Italian
Just 'cause he were boss
He only made me Brussels
And he played a bit of squash
And then she wed an oil baron
Who comes from Lancashire
But he wasn't rich
He were just another Wigan peer
Oh, I used to go out with her
'Cause she cooked me all me meals
Then one day she made a big
She won Miss Macclesfield
She'll get fired up for puppies
One day she'll come back
'Cause she knows that all the real men
Live in Mac
She'll tell me that she loves me
She ain't into living with dogs
So I'll slip her a leg
And then I'll tell her
I used to go out with her
'Cause she cooked a nice bit of grub
She may have been a beauty queen
I'd rather go down the pub
Miss Macclesfield
Miss Macclesfield