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The Drover's Cook
Slim Dusty
Popularity ยท Moderate
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Now the Drover's cook weighed 15 stone and he had one bloodshot eye
He had no laces in his boots and no buttons on his fly
His pants hung loosely 'round his hips, hitched by a piece of wire
And they concertinaed 'round his boots, in a way that you'd admire
Well he stuck the Billy on the boil and then emptied out his pipe
And with his greasy shirtsleeves, he gave his nose a wipe
And with pipe in mouth he mixed a sod and the drip hung from his chin
And as he mixed the damper up, the drip kept drippin' in
I walked quietly over to him and said, toss that mixture out
And in future when you're working, keep your pipe out of your mouth
Oh, well, he stood erect and eyed me, with such a dirty look
And said in choice Australian "Get another bloody cook"
A cook I said you call yourself, you greasy slop made lout
Why you should be jailed for taking work, that you cannot carry out
Oh, he then uncorked some language and I felt a thrill of fear
As he swung his hairy paws about and said, "trot your frame out here"
In outback brawls, there are no rules, no limits to the weight
So I had to squib or meet him, with my meagre nine stone eight
And we both bounced into action and fell into a clinch
I put a headlock on him, but I couldn't make him flinch
For hours, we fought in deathly grips, swung uppercuts and crosses
We staggered and founded in distress, like broke and winded horses
Then gaspingly he muttered, "Oh, I've fought all through the north"
"You're the gamest thing I've ever struck, here, give me your hand old sport"
Well, I can't explain my feelings with joy, I nearly cried
As we staggered to a shade close by, where he sank down and died
Now you talk about that saltbush scrap, why it was only play
Compared to that grueling battle, we fought that fatal day
And now above his resting place, where the grasses grown to seed
On stone is carved this epitaph for travelers to read
Here lies the son of Donald Gunn none gamer ever stood
And he died in dinkum battle with Jimmy Underwood
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