Little Debbie (an Ode)
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Little Debbie
Little Debbie
I remember when I was three
I went and fell and skinned my knee
Oh, what a blue boo it was
My first inclination was to cry
But I recalled my oatmeal cream pie, so I
smushed it on my scrape, just because
(Little did I know that the cream filling doubled as Neosporin)
I remember drivin' down the road
Holdin' a heavy heavy heavy load
when my back right tire went flat on me (What was that?)
My first inclination was to swear
But hey, I got a foot round in here, so I
slapped it on that rim and let it roll free
(You know, I never thought I'd make it to that truck stop in the mornin'... But I did)
Little Debbie, you were there for me
I did not know that you cared for me
like you did, but you do
and now I'm individually wrapped up in you
I got a heart, you'd be my star crush and now
apple flip head over heels for you
'cause I did, and you are
my chocolate chip cookie granola bar
I was a night shift grader at the Walmart
when a woman screamed "Runaway shopping cart!"
It was heading straight for her Mitsubishi 3000 GT (Oh)
My first inclination was to bolt
but I was eatin' a swiss cake roll, so I
tossed its twin and kept the car dent free
(You know, roll cake and chocolate make quite the shock absorber)
Little Debbie, you were there for me
I did not know that you cared for me
like you did, but you do
and now I'm individually wrapped up in you
I got a heart, you'd be my star crush and now
apple flip head over heels for you
'cause I did, and you are
my chocolate chip cookie granola bar
Little Debbie
Little Debbie
Little Debbie
Little Debbie