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Everyone Hates His Parents
Brandon Uranowitz, Anthony Rosenthal, Christian Borle, and Stephanie J. Block
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Just look at me
I'm a world class traveler
Each Friday night
Travel, travel, travel from her house to his house
First take the 104 with my computer
I'm just a little kid not a commuter
And each Sunday night mother comes to get me
And I hear them fight
Everybody's yelling about the bar mitzvah
It's not a wrestling match
Why are they sweating?
It's not a funeral
What's so upsetting?
It's a celebration where I get presents
But everybody's yelling
And everybody's ruining it
It's a celebration where I get richer
But everybody's yelling
And everybody's ruining it
Everybody's ruining it
Why oh why?
What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah?
What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah? (What have we done that we'd ruin your bar mitzvah?)
I want the Applebaums they're lovely and they like me
They're boring, she just likes the way you dress
Well, who wouldn't?
Have the Applebaums
Screw the Applebaums
Please don't do this
Saul's a jerk
Just have them
Nix them
Long live the Applebaums arguing takes work
I hate this
Blame her
It is all a waste
You're gonna blame me?
You have paintings of dicks
Don't talk to me about taste!
Stop!
I don't want a bar mitzvah
okay?
I don't want a bar mitzvah!
What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?
What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?
How do you think we?
How do you think we?
How do you think we feel about that?
ย
Jason I am agitato grande
Jason I am muy disgutante
And muy disappointe
And muy naseatus
And me mitzraim hotzionno dayenu
Everyone hates his parents
Don't be ashamed
You'll grow up
You'll come through
You'll have kids and they'll hate you too
Oh everyone hates his parents
But, I confess you grow up
You get old, you hate less
But I don't want it
Nothing that gives them pleasure I'll do
I don't want a bar mitzvah
Stupid bar mitzvah
Any bar mitzvah, would you?
Everyone hates his parents
That's in the Torah!
It's what history shows
In fact god said to Moses
Moses, everyone hates his parents, that's how it is.
And god knew, because god hated his
You are gonna kill your mother
Don't feel guilty, kill your mother
Rather than humiliate her killing your mother is the merciful thing to do
Jason, darling, don't get nervous
I'm right here, and at your service
Look, I'm calm and self deluded
Grateful, cause I hope you'll do what I pray you'll do
Go ahead and kill your mother
Not with guns, but kill your mother
Rather than humiliate her
Killing your mother is the merciful thing to do
Oh my god
Everyone hates his parents
Now I see why
But in time they'll cool out
And you'll think they were only fooling
It's a strange thing about parents
Push turns to shove
What was hate becomes, more or less, love
Jason, please see a psychiatrist
I'm a psychiatrist, get lost!
ย
Everyone hates his parents
This too shall pass
You'll grow up
I'll come through
I'll have kids
And they'll hate you too
Oh, everyone hates his parents
But, kid, I guess
You'll grow up
I'll grow up
You'll get old
I'll get old
And hate less
Flip me!
You got it
And hate less
ย