Bessie, Bessie, Bessie
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Bessie, Bessie, Bessie
Get your fat arm off me
Bessie, Bessie, Bessie
Get your fat arm off me
It may be easy for you honey
But it's darn near killing me
Bessie, Bessie
Get off my knee
Bessie, Bessie, Bessie
Get off my knee
And all the other knees of the men on this bus
Don't you know by now honey
You weigh two hundred and three
That's kilos
Bessie, Bessie, Bessie
You know you ugly as can be
Put a paper bag over your head
When you're talking to me
Bessie, Bessie, Bessie
You ugly as can be
That's why I call you Quasimodo
You gonna find yourself a fella
Who's age ninety-three
Maybe he want you
But I sure don't
Bessie, Bessie, Bessie
You know I'm ever so brave
Bessie, Bessie, Bessie
You know I'm ever so brave
I got the Purple Heart and livers to match
How can I kiss you, honey
When you never shave?