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There is a last time
You hold your child
One day you'll put him down
And never lift him again
Just as there is a last kiss
A last breath
A final step
A last fuck
A last word
It is not for us to know our lasts
Mostly
It is better to be blind
To let the road bend where it will
It is not weakness
It's survival
I survived you
My lasts were long and painful
I know nothing of yours
But I hope yours hurt too
If I'm honest
Do you remember the last time
You turned the key in this front door
The last time you ran a bath
Or heard your children laugh
In their rooms I built
The architecture of love
The last time you sent a quiet text
In that space of yours in the clouds
The last time you told me I was wrong
Or angry
The last time you turned the key?
Now I will stitch each tiny sequinned feather
This bird released
I am finished being tamed
I am animal
I have grown two hearts inside my belly
They are purpose
And my end
I will show them how to love
I will show them curve and grace and fire
I will show them what a woman is made of
I have grown two hearts inside my belly
I know a phoenix
From a sparrow
This will be the last time I write to you
I have wings to sew