Makin' Whoopee!
Marlene Dietrich/Burt Bacharach
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Every time I hear the march from "Lone Green"
I am always on the outside looking in
Maybe that is why I see the funny side
When I see a fallen brother take a bride
Weddings make a lot of people sad
But if you're not the groom, it's not so bad
Another bride, another June
Another sunny honeymoon
Another season, another reason
For makin' whoopee
A lot of shoes, a lot of rice
The groom is nervous, he answers twice
It's really killing that he's so willing
To make whoopee
Now picture a little love nest
Down where the roses cling
Now picture that same sweet love nest
Think what a year can bring
He's washing dishes and baby clothes
He's so ambitious, he even sews
So don't forget, folks, that's what you get, folks
For makin' whoopee
It is a year or even less
"What's this I hear?" Well, can't you guess?
She feels neglected and he's suspected
Of makin' whoopee
She sits alone most every night
He doesn't phone, he doesn't even write
He says he's busy, but she says, "Is he?"
He's makin' whoopee
He doesn't make much money
Only five thousand per
Some judge thinks he's funny
Says, "You'll pay six to her"
Now he says, "Judge, suppose I fail?"
And he says, "Bud, you'll go to jail
You better keep her, haha, because it's cheaper
Than makin' whoopee"
So don't forget, folks, that's what you get, folks
For makin' whoopee
For makin' whoopee
For makin' whoopee