Geniuses
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Benjamin Franklin went out into the storm
And bravely let his kite go up in the air
He risked his life on an idea that night
And thanks to him we now have light everywhere
Louis Pasteur never gave up on his cures
And thanks to him we all now have a vaccine
And Orville and Wilbur toured until they delivered
What until then was just in our dreams
Goddamn, white people are geniuses
Goddamn, it really blows me away
I know it's not cool to talk about
But it's something that I just got to say (Uh, Trevor!)
Can you imagine a world (Trevor!)
Where white people just did not exist
That would be, such a terrible thing, and something-
Hey Trevor!
Yes? What, what?
Is that the song?
Yeah, why?
Well, it's racist
What? No it's not
Yes it is, it's a racist song
What do you mean?
I'm just copying things down exactly from this history book
Okay, you're just saying that only white people are geniuses
No I'm not, there's geniuses from other races
The way you are singing it
It's implying there are more geniuses that are white
Than of any other kind of race
Uh... well, that's not what the songs about
Well that's what it sounds like
Really?
Yes, really
You can't just single out an entire race
And say they are the ones who are geniuses
You have to incorporate all the races
You have to talk about
Black geniuses, Mexican geniuses, Asian geniuses
Okay, I kinda see what you are saying (yeah)
Sorry about that
Okay just, just give me a minute
I can fix it
Okay, I got it, I got it
Remember, just, all kinds of geniuses, not just white
Lots of other races have geniuses too
Don't let anybody tell you other
George Washington Carver was a black guy
Who figured out how to make peanut butter
That's all you got?
That's all that's in the history book, it's one page
George Washington Carver
Where did you get that book?
It's mine from school
Where did you go to school?
Virginia
In the 1980s, why?
Y'know what?
I'm gonna call Doug in here
Whu- No no no no, don't call Doug
No no no no! I'm gonna bring him in
Maybe he can tell you about some of the
Famous geniuses of black history
Seriously seriously seriously
Hey, Doug? You think you can get in here (Stop, stop stop)
Hey, wassup, man?
This is Trevor
He's currently recording a song called "White People Are Geniuses"
Uh... amongst many other races of geniuses
That's what the full title is gonna be
He thinks the only thing black people have invented is peanut butter
No I don't, no I don't, no I-
I know that black people have invented tons of things
Like what?
Uh, like rap
Rap! Like the hugely popular music
That's integral to our culture
What else?
Um, basketball?
Sike, I didn't say that
I didn't mean that
Okay, so according to you
The only things that black people have invented have been
Rap, basketball, and peanut butter
I know that black people have
Had a huge part in shaping this entire country
There were black people that signed the declaration of independence
NO! (Holy shit) That did not happen
There were no black people
They were a little busy, they were a little tied up at the moment
Sorry, I'm not very well versed, in other cultures history
So, will you, help me?
Alright, well, black people invented air conditioning
Cellphones, the stethoscope, typewriters, the first mechanical heart
Doorknobs, elevators, fire extinguishers, the guitar, stoplight
Potato chips, gasmasks, the super soakers, and the cabbage patch
Black people invented the cabbage patches?
No, this Cabbage Patch
But y'all wouldn't know that
You all wouldn't even think about it
'Cause you're so wrapped up in your racist worldview
Wow, I didn't know all of that, so, thanks
Don't mention it
I'm charging overtime for this
Anything you need, anything, thank you so much Doug
Thank you! Take the rest of the day!
Are we good?
Yeah, but, I'm gonna google some of that stuff, cause I don't know
Jesus, fuck you