Census
Sammy J & Randy
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(Current address, religion, ethnic background)
What's the dwelling
Don't ask me, I'm still stuck on question three
Surname (I don't have one)
Just put Purple
Rental status (Month by month)
Occupation (Skinny cunt) (What) (Nothing)
What'd you put for house description (Shithole)
So it begins, when it arrives
We gotta justify our lives and face the fact that nothing's changed
That when we promised that we'd get our shit together
So in five years time we wouldn't feel like total fucking failures
But in five years we've done fuck-all but
Lament the fact that we've done fucking nothing with our lives
And then they fucking make us write it down
When the census comes to town
(Current address, religion, ethnic background)
Sex (Male)
Age (Thirty-five)
Marital status (Recently divorced)
Current address (Ricketts Lane)
Religion (Pass)
Ethnic background (Haberdashery)
Sex (Male)
Age (Twenty-nine)
Marital status (Stalker)
Current address (Ricketts Lane)
Religion (Jedi)
Ethnic background (Summer babe)
What do I put, what do I write
I got my (My job is going nowhere)
Where did I drop the ball in the chain of nine to five years
And I still can't make it work
I'm still a virgin (I'm still a jerk)
How do you paint a pretty picture
When your brush is broken and your palettes full of shit
(Current address, religion, ethnic background)
Superannuation, occupation
Any further education
Ontogenetic orientation
Network, date of birth
Language spoken at home
Anglaise
Income, health plan
TV license
Broadband access
Method of sewerage
Landline, livestock
Meeting, windows
Livestock, livestock
Livestock, yeah, livestock
Kids, tax, pets, beds
Bikes, car, doors, roofs
Yard, bills, gas, former employer
Bank, shed, school, food, pool
Next of kin
I never knew my father
He died in a plane crash
September 11th, 2001
It was in New Zealand
Never made the papers
I never knew my mother
She left me in a basket
On a doorstep, on a cold night
Then she picked me up the next day (What)
It was a playdate with the neighbor (Randy)
We ate chicken twisties (My dad died)
I had a very happy childhood (Why are you doing this to me)
Now back to the census (For fucks sake)
(Current address, religion, ethnic background) Where, how come
This is so degrading
It seems senseless that they'd send the census to us
Since the census has seen to us
With statistical sixth sense
We tick the boxes 'cross the eyes
Collecting data from our lives
And the survey says
We're fucked
What do I put, what do I write
I got my (my job is going nowhere)
Where did I drop the ball in the chain of nine to five years
It is wrapped around my scrotum (I'm a useless bastard)
Pushing me down, dragging me down
Won't let me keep my dignity (I'm a fucking loser)
And we normally don't mind it
We just hate to be reminded
By the answers that our pens are putting down
You can try to hide it
But there's no way to disguise your shitty life
When the census comes to town