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Would If I Could

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Well Chubby Chuck had been puttin' on weight Kids and fools were tellin' him straight "Eat a lot less and leave the corn Before you let this go too far You better change your ways now for your own good" He said, "I know that I should and I would if I could" Little Fast Freddie was goin' too fast Pedal to the metal, it was gonna blast Cops caught him doin' 'bout a hundred and ten Said, "Slow down 'cause if we ever find you again There'll be a long time 'til you see your neighborhood" He said, "I know that I should and I would if I could" Two Ton Ted had the time of his life Spendin' cash and cheatin' on his wife Friends said, "This scandal soon everyone knows You gotta get out 'fore the whole thing blows You've been lucky this far, man, knock on wood" He said, "I know that I should and I would if I could" Juicy Lucy was a drink too much She was always sided with a bottle of scotch Doc said, "You're headin' down a one way street You gun cocked down and you're dead meat Now get yourself together, it's understood" She said, "I know that I should and I would if I could" Well I know that I should and I would if I could Yeah I know that I should and I would if I could There were all nice people tryin' to do good Sayin' I know that I should and I would if I could Well I know that I should and I would if I could I know that I should and I would if I could There were all God's children tryin' to do good Sayin' I know that I should and I would if I could