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I Married A Woman Who Talks Like Jerry Reed
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Son!
I married a woman who talks like Jerry Reed
God just didn't bless her with the vocal cords she needs
She looks like Cindy Crawford, but that ain't the way she sounds
When we make love, I keep hearin' "East Bound and Down"
I work 60 hours a week, and I bring home my check, and she says
"Son, you're gonna have to take me out and put some groceries down my neck!"
So, I took her to a fancy restaurant
She looked down her nose and said
"Now, why didn't we stop at a 'Choke-N-Puke' for some grilled cheese sandwiches?"
I don't know
I married a woman who talks like Jerry Reed
Oughta be on the cover of Playboy, 'cause that body's guaranteed
She talks just like that guitar man that crawled out of the swamp
"That Louisiana law won't save ya, son, when I knock ya in the head with a stump"
She thinks my name is "Amos" when she ain't callin' me "son"
"Amos! Son, I'm under stress! Let's go somewhere that's fun"
So, I flew her to Europe
And I spent ten-thousand bucks
She told me
"I'da had more fun thumbin' a ride on an overloaded poultry truck"
On a what?
I married a woman who talks like 'You know who'
I got a brand-new pair of earplugs stuck in with Elmer's glue
I bought all the lamps that K-Mart had 'cause there's one thing I don't need
Is to be in the dark with a woman who sounds just like Jerry Reed
It's hard to be romantic when she whispers in my ear
"You got a long way to go and a short time to get here"
She talks just like a trucker, whether I like it or not
"We're loaded up & truckin' and when you're hot, you're hot"
Thanks a lot!
Oh, yeah, y'all like my voice, huh?
No
Well, you shoulda thought of that when ya married me
You knew I sounded like Jerry Reed then!
Least I don't look like him, do I?
Well
Speakin' of look like, you don't look like Burt Reynolds yourself
Kinda remind me of Fred
Not that I date dogs or anything