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I'm Not Fine

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I'll be the best they've ever seen I'll make them so dang proud of me It'll take some work to get to where I need to go But I'll be there before I know And it's hard And I'm tired But I'll work To get higher But it seems I've lost all function in my legs, is this normal? It's fine I'm fine Am I fine? I'm sure it's fine Am I gonna die? I'm a wreck I'm in a downward spin And I don't know What it feels like to win But they tell me "just gotta put in the work" You'll be fine! And they tell me everyone falls down time to time But no matter how hard I try There's this little voice in my mind And it tells me every time That I will not be fine I'll be the best they've ever seen (You'll fall, you'll trip, you'll make a scene) It'll take some work to get to where I need to go (They're better off without you, you know) It's hard (Too hard) I'll work (Won't work) I just gotta keep telling myself that I'll be fine It's fine (Not fine) I'm fine (Not fine) I'm sure it's fine (Not fine) I'm a wreck I'm in a downward spin And I don't know What it feels like to win But they tell me Just gotta put in the work, you'll be fine And they tell me Everyone falls down, once or twice But though I try and though I reach for the sky There's this voice that's getting Louder in the back of my mind, saying I'm not fine It's screaming at me saying I'm not fine! I'm a mess, my life's an uphill climb I get halfway up but I slip down every time And I honestly don't think that I will ever be fine Cause my head it keeps screaming you'll always be behind And they tell me it's alright Everyone takes their own time But my time is moving backwards I don't think I'll get it right Cause I'm losing my own battles Cannot find the will or might Cause the little voice that's s'posed to cheer me on Is the one I have to fight It's fine I'm fine I'm sure it's fine... (I don't think I'll ever be fine...) Um, Alderpaw? Are you alright? Oh pfft, I'm fine!