X‐Faded Girl
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Lyrics
"Do you wanna die?" Asked the girl on the hotline
"Do you wanna die?" Asked the man on the air
Is it copping out if I don't know the answer?
Is it copping out if I don't really care?
What else could I say so that no one would bother
What else could I say so that no one would care
And how else can I say, "To be honest, I'm tired"?
What else could I say so that no one would care?
A morning in paradise, it's well past twelve
Confined to four walls of I, me, and myself
And if there were a different way to live
Don't you think I would've tried it?
The pain in my legs, and my stomach, my head
It radiates, it aggravates I'm dead weight on my bed
I've hit a wall, I've tried it all and yes, I took my meds
I keep living with no incentive
Everyone's efforts seem better than mine
Like they're miles ahead
And I'm at the starting line
As I watch the world turn, I'm held in place by my regret
Am I who I wanted to be yet? Circulating thoughts
Bleed into idle tenderness
I'm getting worse all over again
("Do you wanna die?")
With a body bound to bed
Observe the faded girls lament
Wasted as I smoke away the dread
I take a breath and another day has passed
I can't keep up, the world's moving too fast
And if I could, I'd just cry about it
But my eyes won't allow it
It's hard to concentrate
To pull expression from my brain
I try to write a turn of phrase
It feels inane, I feel ashamed
Ah
Have I said all there is to say?
What's the point of an artist
Who can't communicate
I reason with the mirror, try to identify
It's just a mock-up of life
A childish outline everyone's efforts
Seem better than mine, my pain is no mistake
It's part of my design
Always awaiting answers
Even when I know nothing's left
Holding onto what doesn't exist
If it was all a dream
What a relief that would be
No longer forced to live half asleep
("Do you wanna die?")
Do I wanna die? How the hell should I know?
What a pain to be alive, the girl I used to be
Resemblance of serenity, how can she give that back to me?
As I watch the world turn, I'm held in place by my regret
Am I who I wanted to be yet? Circulating thoughts
Bleed into idle tenderness, I'm getting worse all over again
("Do you wanna die?")
With a body bound to bed
Observe the faded girls lament
Wasted as I smoke away the dread
Ah-ah-ah