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Magic Balls, Conclusion
The Handsome Family
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So anyway, one day Renny is going back to the litter box, to chase
No, PAX TV, you have to explain! You, you fuckin'...
You're such a fโ a shrew! Go ahead, what's up with PAX TV?
That's the important part! I'm not a lunatic, I saw it on TV, okay?
If you ever watch PAX TV, which I do as much as possible, there's this
Show on called "It's A Miracle," and it's the greatest fuckin' show
In the world. And I saw this one episode where this, this kid was
Killed, and then he kept putting pennies in the shoes of his aunt
And his mother to tell them that he was okay. And he would leave
Pennies by their bed, and they kept
Finding all these pennies everywhere!
How can I forget that she was obsessed with this shit?
And then one day the aunt was in a car wreck, and on the way to the
Emergency room, she felt something in her shoe, and it was a penny!
And then later when she woke up from the operation, there was another
Penny on the side of her pillow. So then I started seeing these
Magic balls everywhere! And I thought, "Oh my God, there's an angel
Leaving me messages!" There was some on my pillow, they were all over
The floor, they were in my shoes. I was at Walgreens, I felt one in
My shoe. And then there was one on the kitchen table, so I started
Collecting them, and I put them in this little crystal bowl. 'Cause
I thought, "These are magic balls! They're from Heaven!" And I got
All excited, and he started finding them too, they were everywhere!
But I wasn't sure what the angels were trying to tell me, so I just
Thought, "I'll collect all the balls, and we'll see what happens."
But then... this is the bad part. It was time to clean our litter box
There is a downside, believe it or not
And I went back to the litter box, and I realized
That the magic balls were just cat litter
They're those new fucking crystal things! You know, those crystals?
Like, it's like aโ a bag, like half a pound, they're just like twenty
-Five dollars or something, for like... itโ they're shaped like balls
So I don't have a guardian angel, I just have fucking messy cats
Which is nice, yes, but... My cats are working for the other side
I think. They're trying to drive me
Mad so they can steal my diamonds!
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