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Anything You Can Do

Melissa McCarthy
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Barbra: Hi, Melissa? Melissa: Oh wow, Barbra Streisand Barbra: StreiSAND like sand on the beach, soft S. Melissa: Right. Sorry. What are you doing here? Barbra: I'm here to see the director who cast me in the lead in his new movie. Melissa: He cast ME in the lead in his new movie. Barbra: That's impossible. Melissa: Yeah, well we'll see. Barbra: Really! Any part you can play I can play better I can play any part better than you No you can't (Yes I can) No you can't (Yes I can) No you can't (Yes I can, yes I can) Any laugh you can get I can get bigger I can get any laugh as big as you With one look (with a glance) Till they cry (wet their pants) Till they roll (till their sore I'll get more) I can belt a D flat, and I'll never be flat I don't have to warm up, I can act a storm up I can do a concert tour With hip-hop and rap Well after a nap You got me there Barbra: Are you related to Mathew? Melissa: That's Mcconaughey Barbra: What about Paul? Melissa: That's McCartney Barbara: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry Any house you can build I can build better I can build any home render than yours Barbra: With great taste Melissa: With four johns Barbra: With restraint Melissa: Lots of brpnze. With a mode and a wall Barbra: With a mall! In any comedy I can be crasser I can be cruder and crasser than you With a belch (with a burp) With a shrug (with a slug) Yes I'm clan (well I'm just not obscene) You're a dirty talker You played mother Focker Bridesmaids' a keeper Price of Tides' a weeper We agree on quite a lot Let's make amends Yeah we should be friends Barbra: What do you call a man who's lost all his intelligence? Melissa: I don't know, what? Barbra: A widower (haha) Anything men can do we can do better Anything men can do we can do too Steal a scene (stop the show) Build a scheme (as our own) Have a child (with a man) yes we can We were underrated Teased and depricated But we sent them reelin' Through the glass ceiling There is nothing we can't do Barbara: Well can you bake a pie? Melissa: No Barbra: Neither can I You know anything I can do we can do better We can do anything better as two Make chick flicks (but has kicks) As a team we're a dream Melissa: You're the bomb Barbra: Huh? Melissa: You'll be greatโ€” Barbra: really? Melissa: As my mom! Barbra: You're mom? Don't you mean sister? Why would you say a thing like that? Fine. Yes we can Yes we can Yes we can Yes we can Melissa: Can I call you Babs now? Barbra: No, too soon.