I Got a Van
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It's quite old, and starting to rust
But it's a mark of a man that you can trust
Forget Corsa, Civic, Mondeo, and Yaris
Get in my van, we're going up Treharris
We don't need to go to a hotel
We can use my van if you don't mind the smell
If the van's a rockin' don't come a knockin'
The back door's closed but it's having trouble lockin'
Hatchback, five door sedan
Will never have the length and girth of my van
If you want a real man then you knows it's me
One step down from an HGV
I'll let you change gear, or turn the wheel
Stop at Leigh Delamere, have a romantic meal
Respect is what I get so ride with me
High on diesel on the A470
I got a van (You can tell everybody, go ahead and tell everybody)
I got a van (Go ahead and tell everybody,
got a van, got a van, got a van, got a van)
In my van we're gangster trippin'
And on the weekends we can go fly tippin'
With a piano, or a dead horse
Simply use the back for intercourse
Don't need to wear a seat belt beeping in reverse
And if your gran dies we can use it as a hearse
From the A-Team van to the Mystery Machine
And I did a Superman flying through the windscreen
I got a van, like Jeffrey Dahmer
But I like to think that I'm much calmer
And I use it to impress a bird
This is a toilet, but you can insert
It's got a gas stove, to wine and dine
With a mattress for sexy time
Like the Tardis it goes anywhere
And it's not taxed, but I don't care
I got a van (You can tell everybody, go ahead and tell everybody)
I got a van (Go ahead and tell everybody,
got a van, got a van, got a van, got a van)
I got a van (You can tell everybody, go ahead and tell everybody)
I got a van (Go ahead and tell everybody,
got a van, got a van, got a van, got a van)
I'm a dangerous man with some faggies in my pocket
If I see a driveway, you know I'm gonna block it
Driving around, delivering goods
And when I'm done I'll take you dogging up the woods
Fire up the engine, and turn it over
Gonna take you to Paris on ferry via Dover
Yes girl, you're gonna wanna get with me
When you see us swap a SEAT for an LGV
For light goods vehicles I'm your man
It's not an SUV but you'd call it a van
Smells a bit like fish from the previous owner
He died in a smash, he was an organ donor
And just like him I'm gonna give you my heart
As soon as I can get this thing to start
103 inches long, 54 inches wide
Someone scratched clean me, on the side
Got a short wheelbase, I don't know what it means
Got a stove in the back to make you beans
Or possibly soup if that's what you require
Because I've got a van and my love's for hire
I got a van (You can tell everybody, go ahead and tell everybody)
I got a van (Go ahead and tell everybody,
got a van, got a van, got a van, got a van)
I got a van (You can tell everybody, go ahead and tell everybody)
I got a van (Go ahead and tell everybody,
got a van, got a van, got a van, got a van)